The Lost Soul
by CharlieBrownLover21
Summary: The darkness fit him well. His heart, forever stained with malice, cut deep into with the knife of sorrow, could never be repaired. So young and yet so polluted with death; he was broken. He was doomed to a life of evil. He was lost.
1. Chapter 1: The Pain Of It All

**A/N: Okay so anyone who knows me, knows that** **I _LOVE_ Itachi Uchiha and that sometimes I hide him under my bed where Masashi cannot find him. So it was only a matter of time before I wrote a story pretty much only revolving around him. Hope you enjoy.**

**^_^**

**---**

**Chapter One: The Pain Of It All**

**---**

Itachi stood over his little brother watching him sleep.

The small child, so unaware of what was really going on his world, oblivious to the pain and suffering he was going to be put through.

Itachi knew it would be so much easier to kill him. End the pain and take away those soft breaths; send him to a better place full of light instead of the impending darkness that threatened to plague his poor little heart.

The thirteen year old raised the sword over his peaceful angel.

_End it. **End it all.**_

But he could do _nothing_.

That beautiful angel. So innocent. How could he possibly kill something so precious, so young? He loved his brother so much.

Whether Sasuke knew it or not, he could always make the older Uchiha smile. Itachi, always on the ledge of life was ready to jump at any moment; he could feel himself snapping from the pressure his parents and every other member of the clan placed on his shoulders. But Sasuke was always there, in the background. The only piece of his life that was worth saving.

All of the rest, would be gone tomorrow.

_**Along with his soul.**_

And he could do nothing to stop his own demise, nor the destruction of his clan. He was a puppet being prepped for the show, moving only at his master's commands.

And what a _good_ little puppet he was.

"Nii...san?"

Itachi dropped his sword, the clanging sound echoing around him. He fell to his knees in front of Sasuke's bed. His younger brother looked terrified. He clung to the bed sheets and stared at Itachi with weary eyes.

"Nii-san, are you okay? You're scaring me big brother." Sasuke whimpered.

Itachi pulled Sasuke into his arms and hugged him close.

"I am sorry, Sasuke-kun. I did not mean to frighten you."

The tiny arms wrapped around his back returning the gesture. "S'okay. Why are you shaking, Nii-san?"

He hadn't noticed his trembling. He released his hold on his brother and touched the young boy's forehead softly.

"Go back to sleep, Sasuke." He whispered.

Sasuke scowled as he snuggled back under the covers. "You're strange Itachi."

The older brother smiled as he reached down for his sword. "As are you, little one."

He turned, knowing that this was most likely the last descent conversation he would ever have with his brother.

"Sweet dreams, my dear brother." He spoke quietly as he reached the door.

"Nii-san?" The angel called.

He turned, not thinking twice. If his brother wanted something, then he shall recieve it.

"Yes?"

"I love you." Sasuke said grinning.

His heart throbbed with the unseen pain and guilt. Ignoring the torture he smiled back, answering truthfully.

"I love you too, Sasuke."

More than you know.

_More than you'll **ever** know._

He shut the door quietly, hoping that he hadn't woken anyone.

Those hopes where shattered when he came face to face with his father.

"What were you doing in there, Itachi?" The older man questioned. His face looked calm, serene. Itachi knew that underneath that smooth exterior his father was boiling inside.

He dipped his head in respect. "My apologizes, Father. I didn't mean to-"

He saw the punch coming but he did nothing to stop it. He stumbled backwards from the force of the hit, glad the wall was there to catch his fall.

"What the _fuck_ were you doing in your brother's room, huh? Do you _like_ disturbing this household?" The man questioned quietly, venom spreading through his tone.

"No sir." Itachi answered in the same monotone his father gave off. His father had always pushed him; never giving him breaks. He wasn't allowed to complain or he would get punished.

_---_

_"Father, **please **let me go!" Itachi begged. "Everyone is going, and I **swear**I'll practice my jutsu when we get there!"_

_Fugaku shook his head and handed his son the shurikin. "No. You have to keep training."_

_Itachi scowled. "But why? I **always** train! Why can't I go out with my friends once in a while? Is that too much to ask, Father? Because I think-"_

_He had never been hit before in his life._

_"Shut the fuck up, Itachi!" His father screamed as he swung._

_Itachi was on the ground in a matter of seconds, clutching his stinging mouth. A trickle of red liquid escaped through his fingers._

_"You will surpass **everyone**, do you hear me?!" Fugaku yelled._

_"While your stupid friends are off having fun in the park, you will train and train and **train**. You are going to be the **best**, even if it means the death of me." He hissed._

_Itachi watched from the ground as his father looked into the sky, a smile upon his face. "You will be a **legend**, Itachi." His father spoke the words like a death sentence. No escaping._

_Maybe it was the fact that his life was being decided for him, or maybe it was that he could never be normal. Destined to live his father's way for the rest of his life. For whatever reason, Itachi began to cry. He had only been seven at the time, after all._

_His father, sharingan whirling, picked him up by his shirt collar. With those blood red eyes he stared Itachi down, the most terrifying look ever imaginable on his wrinkled face._

_"You are not allowed to cry.** Ever**. Do you understand me?" He growled._

_Itachi could feel the tears freeze up in his eyes from the shear terror of the look on his father's face. He nodded swiftly._

_"Yes sir."_

_---_

"Yes sir, I understand. What I did was wrong. I should not have been wandering around the house at such a late hour." The thirteen year old whispered softly as he was dragged out of the horrifying memory.

Fugaku narrowed his eyes and gave him a sharp nod. "Good. Get back to your room. Tomorrow is a big day."

He dipped his head in respect once again to the father who had none for him.

"Yes. I will."

He turned, taking one last glance to Sasuke's room.

And as he walked away he couldn't help but agree with his father.

Tomorrow _will_ be a big day.

_**One that the world will never forget.**_

**---**

**A/N: Alrightie, what did you think? Please REVIEW! Thanks alot! ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2: Release

**A/N: Okay so here is chapter two. I hope you enjoy it. ^_^ (I do not own Naruto, no sue sue!)**

**_This Story Is Dedicated to ThatGirl96. Thank you for your support. You rock! :)_**

**---**

**Chapter Two: Release**

**---**

He was given a cloak and a partner. Such minuscule things really, and yet they would mark him forever. Mark him as a traitor. An _outcast_. Evil itself.

It fit him well.

The man called Pein, introduced him to a big, blue shark looking man.

"Kisame Hosigake. Your partner is now Itachi Uchiha." The Leader spoke.

A scoff came from the man in his middle twenties. "This kid? What makes him so special?"

The Leader shot him a glare. "A massacre. Of the entire Uchiha clan."

---

_"Why have you done this, Itachi?!" The angel screamed._

_His pain was Itachi's pain. It was killing the older Uchiha to watch his brother's face contort with emotions as he gazed down at their dead parents._

_They had been so easy to kill._

_But he would never forget the look on his mother's face when he ran her through. She had simply smiled, her body trembling from the sudden loss of blood._

_"I love you, honey..." She whispered. Her body went limp in his arms._

_He showed no emotion; did not reply to her last act of love._

_And then there was his father._

_"ITACHI! **WHAT HAVE YOU DONE**?!" His drunken father hollered, blindly charging him._

_Taking the tainted katanna, he did the same act to his father as he had done to his beloved mother._

_"My duty." He murmured. "My **duty**."_

_**Dance** puppet._

---

An eyebrow raised from the blue skinned man. "The whole clan, huh? Well-" A toothy grin spread over his features and he stuck out his hand. "I'm sure you'll fit right in."

Itachi stared the older ninja down. He was disgusted, no, absolutely _repulsed _that this man could be happy of such a horrible thing as the killing of ones whole family.

But if he was to fit in, he would have to play his part like the good actor he was.

"I cannot say I feel glad." He spoke lightly. "For I feel no emotion whatsoever. But I guess the proper answer to your statement would be: Thank you."

He smirked. "So, _thank you_."

Kisame stared at him for a moment, retracting his hand that Itachi had refused to touch. His tiny eyes sized him up, seemingly taking in every detail. Itachi did the same. Though he was shorter and smaller due to his age, he knew that if he had to fight his so called _"partner"_ he would surely win.

"Kisame, show your comrade to his room."

Sharky nodded, his eyes narrowing a little at Itachi. "Fine, but first-" He pointed to the red and black cloak in Itachi's hands. "Put that on. You're one of us now."

---

_"To test the limits of my abilities." He spoke with malice. But it wasn't real malice. Not really. His cold tone was not directed to his little brother, but more to himself. He hated himself right then, and from now on, he knew he would always be hated._

_And not just by the world._

_By him too. He hated his own flesh and blood._

_And then the angel charged, his eyes flooded with anger and sadness. Confusion as well. Sasuke's little heart had been torn and two._

_And it had been by Itachi's own hands._

_"**DON'T FUCK WITH ME**!" Sasuke screamed closing in._

_He stepped forward, punching him in his stomach. He choked from the force of it and fell at Itachi's feet. Crying. The tears trickled down his face an onto the bloody floor._

_Itachi wanted nothing more to wipe away the angel's tears, but he could not. Sasuke had to do this on his own. Sasuke had to be strong. Sasuke had to be stronger than Itachi could ever be._

_And the beginning of his strength building started **now**_.

---

"This is your room." Kisame opened a door in one of the many hallways.

Itachi stepped inside and examined it. It was not that big, but it was not small either. A double bed was positioned in the center of the room, a tiny table with a lamp next to it. At the right side of the room there was another door leading into a bathroom. On the left, yet another door.

"What does that one lead to?" Itachi questioned, referring to the door on the left.

"That one leads to my room. Leader-sama had the bright idea that we all need to connect rooms to our partners; in case of emergencies." Kisame answered shaking his head. Obviously, he did not thinkly very highly of the idea. _Good_. They finally had something in common.

"I want to be alone." Itachi spoke sternly to the man behind him.

Kisame glared at him. "I don't quite get you yet, Itachi Uchiha. But you need to get one thing straight now that you're part of this organization."

Suddenly he was lifted off his feet and slammed into the wall; Kisame holding him up by his shirt collar. He growled as his eyes were flooded with a sea of red, the Sharingan boreing right into the others soul.

"Unhand-" He tried to say, but Kisame's grip tightened. "Listen here, _boy_. You do not run this show. And if you _try_to run this show, you're going to get killed. Us Akatsuki members didn't just buy our way in; we're here for a reason. And we are _much_ more powerful than you are."

Itachi's lips curled up into a snarl. He had to stand his ground. He had to be the most powerful, because he still had something he needed to protect.

He still had something to live for.

"Get off of me!" He screamed. "Do you even_ know_ what I'm capable of?!"

Reaching his hands up he grabbed Kisame by the shoulders and pulled him closer. "Do you _see_ these eyes? If you ever, so much as touch me again, this is the last thing you will see right before you are thrown into the depths of hell."

And right then, he gave Kisame a small taste of what he was made of.

---

_"WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME THIS ITACHI?!"_

_Because you need to hate me._

_Sasuke screamed in agony, twisting and turning, trying so desperately to rid his mind of the images Itachi was giving him. He put his hands to his face and screamed so loud, Itachi was sure that the rest of Konoha must have heard._

_At that moment the genjutsu ended and Sasuke collasped to the floor, his eyes lifeless. His mind, and his heart destroyed beyond repair._

_And then there was the fear. And that is what hurt Itachi the most; knowing that his brother was now terrified of him. Knowing that their relationship was forever tainted with hate and fear._

_And death._

_The death was overwhelming._

_Trembling, the angel now with broken wings turned and fled._

_"**I DON'T WANT TO DIE**!"_

---

The jutsu was released. And he glared down at the man that had fallen to his knees.

"Do you...want to die?" Itachi asked calmly.

Kisame shook and looked up to him with those horrified eyes he knew too well.

"What..._are_ you?" He choked out.

His eyes lost their threatening color and he turned away.

"I'm a protector." He closed his eyes.

_That's right, you did good. Sasuke will be better off now._

"Now get _out_." Itachi hissed.

---

Sleep, of course, was not an option that night for Itachi.

Instead, he occupided himself by staring at the beige colored ceiling, thinking of what his brother was doing right at that very instant.

He wondered if the words stuck. Would that cold, heartless filth that had come out of Itachi's mouth always be with his little brother?

Was Sasuke crying right now? And if he was, was there someone by his side, reasurring him? Consoleing him?

He was angry at himself for not thinking out things like this sooner. He should have made sure Sasuke had a friend to help him. He should have tracked down the nicest kid in the whole Village and dragged him to Sasuke's feet.

But truth was, he had left his brother all alone.

He wanted to smile, thinking that now they had something they could share even though they were far apart.

_They were both alone._

Inwardly, he cursed himself for such a thought because he did not want his brother to be alone. He wanted him to be the strongest, smartest, most popular kid in the whole Ninja Acadamy.

He wished only happiness for him.

And yet, it was his fault that Sasuke could not be happy.

A sudden feeling over took him. He could see his family, each and every one. The whole clan. He could remember their deaths as a perfect image in his mind. He could still smell all of the blood as if he was back in Konoha, doing it all over again.

And he knew this feeling now...as sadness...

It was strange, seeing the tears fall after such a long time without them. After not being allowed to cry for years, and then having so much heartache that if he had not shed those few tears, it felt as if he would burst.

The reality of what he had done was only beginning to set in. It was not like a band-aid; it would not just hurt for a moment and then feel better. It would get worse over the years, like a drug. Killing him slowly as the knife of cruelty cut deep into what little heart he had left. There was nothing he could do to take it back. He could not fix it. He could only stand by and watch his own destruction.

But with his destruction, he hoped a renewal of peace. Everlasting peace would come with his death, he _knew_. And that was what he would hold onto from now on.

And as he laid there, in his new bed, alone. He realized for the first time that he had freedom.

He let the screams and sobs release from years of pent up sadness and mistakes.

And it was like a song.

_**His own dark, twisted melody.**_

**---**

**A/N: Well there is chapter two. Tell me what you think, please read and review. ^_~**


	3. Chapter 3: Torment Is Beauty

**A/N: Sorry for the long, long wait on this chapter you guys. I've been busy. :)**

**Enjoy.**

**---**

**Chapter Three: Torment Is Beauty**

**---**

"It just wasn't right." Kisame said shaking his head. His eyes were wide, frightened almost.

Pein sat across from the shark nin his hands crossed delicately over his lap. He was listening to the water ninja with a strange intensity.

"It sounded like...he was being _tortured_." Kisame clutched onto the arms of the chair. "I have never heard someone scream like that. I was awake all night."

The Leader narrowed his eyes. "When did you become so paranoid, Kisame-san?"

Kisame looked deeply into Pein's cold eyes. "You didn't see what he did to me! _You_ weren't in his twisted mind!"

Pein cocked his head to one side. "And what was in his so called, twisted mind?"

Kisame could see it clearly. "Me."

"You?"

"_Being torn to pieces_."

---

Itachi stared blankly at the bowl of cereal in front of him.

Of course he had no desire to eat. He had no desire to do anything at all.

But he _had_ to.

He took bite after sickening bite of the food and downed a glass of milk without feeling it. He knew he should eat more, but just the mere thought of digesting anything else made him want to vomit.

He heard someone enter the kitchen from behind him and instantly his eyes were red and aware of the presence and chakra.

"Who in the hell are you?" A deep voice asked.

Itachi didn't move. Instead he returned the question. "Well, who are _you_?"

Then he saw the punch and he rolled out of his chair, getting a first glimpse of his attacker as he crushed the spot at the table where Itachi had been just seconds before.

He looked to be an older man, from what Itachi could see. He was hunched over, and though his mouth was covered from view, Itachi could tell that the other man seemed to be smiling through the thin fabric.

"You're a fast little shit, aren't you? Tell me who you are, and maybe I'll kill you quickly." The man coaxed as he inched towards Itachi, who had jumped to his feet.

The man's eyes were dark, filled with malice. It scared him, it really did. This man did not care for his life and had no problem in vanquishing it. This man was terrifying.

_Be strong._

"If you come near me-" His voice cracked and he took a step backwards. The man chuckled.

_**Stronger,** you coward!_

Itachi planted his feet to the ground to prevent his body from backing up in terror. His eyes closed and when they reopened, it was a new design.

The Mangeko.

_He would not be killed._

He bared his teeth. "If you take one more god damned step, I'm going to make you wish you never laid eyes on me."

_He saw Sasuke in his mind._

"I'll make you scream for mercy as I tear you limb from limb."

_He needed to be there for him little brother._

"I'll make it hurt."

He smirked.

"It will be excruciating. You'll _beg_ for death."

The mystery man was taken aback from his sudden switch in attitude. He cocked is head to one side and then took another step.

"Whatcha gonna do about it?" He questioned. Itachi could almost see the invisible smirk from underneath the face mask.

"Fine." Itachi hissed.

There was a swishing sound as a huge scorpion tail emerged from underneath the man's clothing. Itachi's eyes widened at the sight; he had never seen such a thing before.

With a speed faster than lightning the tail struck, missing him by only centimeters. He dodged and the tail missed again and again, but he could tell that he wasn't going to survive much longer. There was not much room for him to run.

"Look into my eyes." Itachi said as he side-stepped to miss another shot from the beast's tails. "Tell me what you see."

The man made a sound of disgust as every one of his attacks were ineffectual to the young ninja. He looked up into Itachi's eyes.

_Perfect._

"What kind of bullshit are you-?" His voice came to abrupt halt as Itachi showed him what he asked for.

"What do you see?" Itachi asked softly.

He already knew what he was showing the older man, but he wanted to feel his pain as he did so.

Itachi was cruel.

_**And he didn't care.**_

---

"I think you may be overreacting, Kisame-san." Pein replied after the shark nin explained in great detail about the nights events as well as what the new young member had shown him through his eyes.

"I _swear _I'm not!" Kisame screamed.

Before Pein could answer the silence of room as well as the whole Akatsuki base was penetrated by a agony stricken cry. It was so loud that Kisame felt as if his ears were burning. He looked to Pein for some kind of direction. The Leader himself was shocked into silence, forgetting what he was going to say only moments ago.

"That sounds like Sasori-san." Kisame said, wide-eyed.

Pein's dull eyes met Kisame's frightened ones.

"Go and get him."

Kisame nodded, already knowing who the _him _was. It had to be Itachi who was causing such a reaction from Sasori. He dashed from the room.

Pein reclined back in his office chair, wondering with great amusement what the outcome of this sudden event would be. Someone would obviously have to show the new child some discipline, but right now was not the time.

He could only hope that Kisame got him before someone else did.

---

He started with the toes. Ripping them off slowly to cause the man pain. Then the fingers and shortly after the nose.

Itachi enjoyed the screams of agony that he received in return.

"Do you _see_?!" He yelled to the man quivering in his own blood. "Do you see what happens when you cross me?!"

The ears were next. The blood was everywhere and the man's vital signs were faltering by the intensity of the jutsu.

For a moment, Itachi wanted to kill him. He wanted to send him to hell as well as everyone else in this repulsive organization.

Including himself.

He knew he belonged in hell and he knew the day would come when he received his punishment for the horrible things he did.

He craved for that day.

Suddenly he felt the presence of someone else in the room. Instead of bothering to relinquish the jutsu, he simply brought the other person inside of it.

"Who are you?" He asked the stranger behind him. The chakra was intense and somehow familiar. The person was standing still and had no intention of attacking, but Itachi still did not trust it.

The jutsu continued.

"Itachi Uchiha, I must say, that these eyes of yours are quite amazing."

He snapped around to face the onlooker. His hair was long and pitch black, he had golden eyes and the wicked smile of a snake. The hairs on the back of Itachi's neck rose at the sight.

The man reached out to him with a pale hand. "The Sharingan. So beautiful." He whispered.

Itachi did not know where he had seen this man before, but the connection was definitely there. Such a cruel aura this man possessed. It radiated off of him.

"If you would like to _keep_that hand of yours, I suggest you don't move it any closer." Itachi spoke sternly.

"My name is Orochimaru. These eyes you posses, are absoulutly intriguing." The man replied, lowering his hand as he did so.

Orochimaru's eyes fell to the tortured man in the genjutsu. He smiled a smile that made Itachi shiver. "So, when are you going to kill him?" He asked, not caring the slightest for the human life that was on the line. In fact, he looked almost happy about the thought of death.

Itachi continued to stare at this Orochimaru and wonder, is this how he was going to end up as well? A worthless bastard with nothing but death on his mind. And when he killed, would he enjoy it or want more? Was joining this organization a mistake?

"I'm not." Itachi answered calmly. "I had no intention of killing him." He released the genjutsu. "Just making sure he never messes with me again."

Orochimaru frowned; as if the thought of letting him live was the wrong choice.

"If you have the power to kill, then why not use it?"

"Killing for the wrong reasons is pointless." Itachi countered.

The snake man smirked. "So why did you kill your entire clan?"

Itachi remained emotionless though the thought of this man knowing his entire past frightened him to no end. He seemed so confident with himself, like he was harboring a secret Itachi should know, but does not.

"Because I had my reasons. And those reasons are none of your concern."

Orochimaru nodded. "I see."

"_**ITACHI**_!" Came a scream from down the hall. Itachi turned, still making sure he had Orochimaru in his peripheral vision.

Kisame rushed into the kitchen, knocking carelessly into the table as he did so. He stopped when he saw Itachi staring at him. Then his gaze dipped to the man on the floor. He gasped.

"Sasori...san..."

Itachi closed his eyes in an attempt to calm himself down.

"He is not dead. Just a little more," he opened his eyes and glared at his shark partner. He smirked. "_Educated_."

---

"Pein-sama has summoned you." Kisame spoke softly after the rap on the door. He didn't enter, which was pretty smart of him.

Itachi sighed and opened the door. Kisame jumped and stepped back immediately. "F-first room on the left, down the hall." He pointed down one of the many dark corridors that the headquarters harbored.

Itachi nodded and proceeded down the ominous looking hall.

He reached the first door on the left as instructed and stopped. He raised his hand to knock when Pein's voice was heard from the inside.

"Come in."

Itachi swallowed, lowering the hand that he was going to knock with down to the dark brass knob and twisted.

He could see him clearly; sitting at his desk with his chin rested on his linked fingers. The black piercings that protruded from his face made him seem immature almost, but it was his cool exterior that really caught Itachi's eye. His chakra was mellow, along with the expression on his pale face. If the lights had been on his orange hair would have surely been burning with color and the strange design that was set in his pupils would have been so much more clear to see.

Itachi scoped the room only to find another Akatsuki member sitting in the shadows. From what he could determine without the Sharingan activated, this person was a woman. Her hair was dark blue and what seemed to be a paper flower was gently resting in her short locks.

"Konan. Get out." The Leader ordered.

The woman rose on command, and keeping her eyes glued to Itachi's, slowly eased herself out of the office.

"I will be right outside the door, Master." She whispered.

The door shut leaving with it a bone chilling silence. Itachi did not move.

Pein un-crossed his fingers and beckoned Itachi to his desk. "Itachi-san. Come here."

Although he did not approve of someone who had only known him for a mere day calling him by such a formal name, he obeyed and took the six steps to the desk. He stood there, waiting for another command. He could not be too careful around anyone. Pein was in charge of this organization for a reason, and Itachi preferred on not knowing what that reason was.

"Sit." He ushered to the open chair.

Itachi did so and waited. The silence between the intervals of questions was making his stomach twist. Were they going to try and kill him?

"Show me your sharingan." Pein said, intertwining his bony fingers together again as he watched Itachi with amusement.

The question didn't make any since, but he complied, secretly feeling better now that he could see the hidden things around him.

"Interesting. Now, deactivate them."

Itachi blinked and the Sharigan disappeared into the darkness. He couldn't help but wonder what Pein was doing.

"Why do you listen to me, Itachi-san?" Pein questioned, gingerly touching an odd looking ring on his thin finger.

_Because I **fear** you._

Itachi took in a deep breath, hoping that his voice would not disobey him as it did before in the fight with the man, Sasori. "I was raised with a high quality of respect."

"Is that _so_?" Pein chuckled.

"That it is." He responded trying not to sound so tense.

"You hold respect for me, but not your clan? Not your..._father_?" The question was whispered with a hint of excitement.

Itachi grit his teeth together. Of course he respected his father. He taught him all he knew. Even though he was a drunk and had the worst anger problems imaginable, there were times when it was just pure love escaping his cold exterior. And he was still his father. He _loved_ him. He loved every member of the clan.

"I _hate_ my father. That is why I killed him. That is why I killed them _all_." He filled the words with so much venom and hate that he surprised even himself.

"Hmm." Pein continued to stare at him and Itachi felt exposed. It was a horrible knot in the pit of his stomach that felt like he was about to make a huge speech in front of thousands with no pants on.

A loud creak filled the void of silence in the room as the Leader stood and began to walk over to Itachi's side of the desk. Itachi could feel his shoulders begin to tense when Pein stopped directly behin him, out of his view. He willed himself to keep his eyes forward and not turn around. He could not be intimidated.

"How old are you Itachi?"

Assuming the man already knew, he answered truthfully. "Thirteen."

He couldn't help the shiver that shot up his spin when Pein placed his hands on his shoulders. He was terrified but he refused to show it.

"Why, you're just a child." Pein whispered low in his ear. His breath cascaded down Itachi's neck bringing forward another spasm of his muscles.

"I am _not_." Itachi answered calmly.

His answer was awarded with another quiet chuckle. Then silence.

He could feel Pein's hand brush back his hair in an intimate gesture. It made him sick to his stomach.

"Tell me then, Itachi, what an adult would do in a situation such as this one." His breath was increasing in pace, as if he was enjoying this.

_What would an adult do?_Itachi closed his eyes and couldn't help but smile.

"An adult," Itachi opened his eyes to reveal his spinning Sharingan, "_**Would beat the shit out of you**_."

He lept out of his seat and threw the first punch, which hit on impact, causing Pein to stumble backwards in shock.

"An _adult_, would cut your goddamn balls off." The Uchiha whispered menacingly, taking a step towards the surprised leader.

Even with the Sharingan activated the next attack was impossible to block. It happened so quickly that Itachi didn't even have time to dodge. It was almost as if there was more than one person in the room.

That had the exact same chakra as Pein.

Pein grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back causing him to yelp in sudden pain. He pushed the young Uchiha's face into the desk and held him there, much like I cop would hold down a dangerous person.

Papers and pens went flying when Itachi's face came in contact with the unforgiving wood, from the force of the shove. He hadn't even had time to catch his breath from the first blow and already he was pinned down and immobile. He growled.

Pein twisted his delicate wrist and he let out a strangled scream. His bones creaked from the pressure of the inhuman strength.

"You're a _foolish _child." Pein hissed.

Itachi smirked. "And you, a foolish man."

_**SNAP!**_

The pain was nothing he had ever experienced before, and he did indeed scream; but he had been through worse pains.

So maybe that explained why he began to laugh, even though Pein had just broken his wrist.

He could picture what the other man's face must have looked like and it only made him laugh harder. He had never really laughed before, but now it was flowing out freely, like a bird soaring through the clouds.

He felt the warm liquid dripping down his arm and then the tiny splats it made when it came in contact with the floor below.

"To laugh in the face of utter agony." Pein whispered, the malice completely sucked dry from his voice. "You truly _do _belong here, Itachi Uchiha."

Itachi's laughter ceased and he continued to listen to the sound of his blood dripping onto the floor. "I know."

The damn silence filled the room again, and it was killing him. He hated the quiet. It reminded him of the dead. They never made a sound. They don't breathe.

_Dead silence._

He shook, not from pain, but from the sharp chill that ran up and down his spin.

"Sasori-san is in intensive care," Pein spoke, finally cracking the ice, "But I think you've been punished enough for one day."

His limp wrist was released and he stood straight up.

"Get that fixed." Pein ordered. "And get out."

---

Sleep never came.

No matter how much he screamed and cried, he could not find the will inside himself to push his mind over the threshold that led to DreamLand.

Or in his case, _NightmareVille_.

And he was tired, but that didn't seem to convince his body that he had been deprived of some much needed rest.

He laid against the kind pillows that offered him comfort and shut his eyes, trying anything to just fall away.

But he wasn't that privileged.

He kept hearing the sickening snap in his wrist from earlier that day and wondered why in the hell he laughed about such a thing.

_You're disturbed. That's why._

**_Tormented._**

That word, torment, rung in his ears and he smirked. That torment had brought him so much hurt and yet, in a way, it was the definition of pure beauty. A higher power had brought torment to him so that he could remember why he was here; what his mission was. Protect Sasuke. Love Sasuke.

_Die_for Sasuke.

Every time he was punched, every time he was injured, he remembered that he was alive.

Pain brought him salvation.

Torment gave him _happiness_.

And it was beautiful.

_**So beautiful.**_

**---**

**A/N: Yikes, so tell me what you thought and I will try to update as soon as I can. Reviews make me update faster. Hint, hint. :)**


	4. Chapter 4: Every Rock Has Its Cracks

**A/N: Sorry that this chappie took a little longer. Thank you to all of my supporters and readers. Love you. ;)**

**Enjoy.**

**---**

**Chapter Four: Every Rock Has Its Cracks**

**---**

The morning brought with it no rays of sunshine.

The angry storm brought with it rain that was coming down in torrents. The thunder was a booming smack to the Earth, and Itachi couldn't help but shiver.

He had harbored a secret only his mother had ever known. Thunder scared him. When he was a little kid; not so long ago, he would cry whenever the evil monster of thunder would crash around him. He would always run into his mother's awaiting arms, making sure he held her smile close to his heart.

He could still hear her whispers as she would cradle him against her chest, wiping away his tears.

_"Shh, Itachi. It's only thunder. Someday, you'll realize that you are stronger than it. You are strong, darling."_

He _was_ strong.

_Strong enough_ to kill all of the innocent people that meant something to him.

_Strong enough_ to abandon the little brother that he cared so dear for.

_Strong enough_ to hurt the others around him.

**_But not strong enough_** to fight the thunder.

He curled under the covers as he watched the water fall cover the window into the blackness of the outside. Lightning illuminated the room and Itachi's eyes fell upon a dark figure standing near the second door leading into his room.

He stared at it for a moment, thinking it was only a frigment of his imagination, and that if he stared long enough, it would disapper like everything else in his life.

But it didn't go away.

He blinked twice and thought about screaming. Then he almost laughed. He was part of the most fearful orginazation in the world and he was worried about some dumbass standing on the side of his room?

He squinted his eyes with the flash of lightning and thought that whoever it was, better start running.

"Who the fuck is that?" He growled, allowing his eyes to bleed to the color of his life and emotion. Red. It felt good.

There was a gasp from the immobile figure as a scramble of mutters and whispered apologizes filled the room.

"_Kisame_?" Itachi asked, slightly preturbed but also a bit amused.

"Uh- umm, I'm so- Uh, yeah, it's...um...me..." The water nin cringed at his lack of nerve.

Itachi glared at him through the darkness of his room expecting an explaination for the unallowed entry. When he recieved none, he let out another disgusted sound.

"What the _hell_ are you doing in my room?"

Kisame rubbed the back of his head. "W-W-W-Well, i-it's m-m-morning..."

Itachi ripped his covers away from his body, forgetting that all he was wearing was his boxers, and marched over to the older ninja. He tried to look calm and collected when he became inches away from his shark like face. Despite the fact that he was feeling vunerable, the facade was obviously working; Kisame looked terrified.

"**_That_**," Itachi spoke softly but sharply, his words cutting deep, "does not excuse the fact that you have invaded my space and privacy without my permission, Kisame."

He refused to call anyone around here by, "san".

He continued to lock eyes with him, trying to forget the fact that Kisame was almost two feet taller than he was, and if he really had to, could most likly over power him with brute force.

"Ah-" Kisame bit his tongue and turned away. "I'm sorry about that. I-I-I was just coming in to wake you up. Pein-sama does not appreciate late sleepers..."

Itachi was quiet for a moment, giving him some time to squirm underneath his cold yet feiry gaze, before finally turning around and waving Kisame away with his hand.

"Thank you, I _suppose_. Next time you will knock before entering." He ordered, making sure the shark ninja understood before allowing him to walk out of the room.

As he shrugged into some clothes and the retched cloak that marked him for the monster he was, he couldn't help but to silently thank Kisame more than he had a minute ago.

The memory came back to him as he gazed down at his bandaged wrist.

He definitely did not need anymore trouble with Pein, that much was certain.

---

**_He knew he shouldn't have._**

He knew it was potentially _dangerous_ to do so, but his mind was racing thousands of miles ahead of his consence and his side that was screaming about how ridiculous the plan was.

Kisame knew that the organization would wake up fairly soon, and so if he was to do it, than he was to do it now.

He hadn't realized how long he had just been standing there; behind his door, waiting for the perfect moment to turn the handle and begin the swim in closed off areas.

_Closed off areas being Itachi's room._

The moment he had seen his new partner he had a strange fascination not only with the child's background, but with his unspeakable beauty.

It was an interesting feeling though, and the night he had lay awake listening to the kid's screams, that intrest peeked.

Thoughts of all kinds flooded through his mind._ Did the kid even **sleep**?_ Did he sleep with his eyes open? Was he peacful when his dreams took over?

He knew it was wrong, and he knew if he got caught the punishment could be great. The boy might be small, but he held a terrible power in his eyes. Such a power should not be handled by someone so young, Kisame thought to himself, but the prospect of Itachi alone still amused him to no end.

And then there was always that one question he feared the most.

**_Why?_**

_Why did Itachi kill his clan?_

He cracked the door open, froze, and listened.

Soft breathing came from the bed only a few feet away, and Kisame found himself letting out a silent sigh of relief.

Good. He _slept_.

Opening the door a little more Kisame could see him, curled tightly underneath one blanket, his brunette hair splayed messily across the pillows.

He was perplexed, dumbfounded even, by the beauty of it all. Not just the fact that Itachi's angelic face was peaceful, something he thought he would never witness happening with Itachi, but at the amazement he felt knowing that Itachi was off somewhere, escaping his problems through dreams, totally oblivious that he was approaching his bedside.

The thirteen year old's chest rose and fell smoothly, unlike Kisame's rapid chest movements due to the pounding of his heart.

Itachi looked so calm, and yet there was that part of him that gave off the vibe of solitude and anger. It seemed even though he was sleeping, his anger was still growing stronger than it was when he was awake.

**_It was glorious._**

---

Itachi walked into the meeting room with his head held high.

The room was quite small, a dark, wooden table taking up most of the space. Members with the exact same cloak as he wore filled the chairs around it.

Heads turned, and one's eyes in particular caught his gaze. It was Pein. He made sure not to keep eye contact with anyone for more than two seconds, including him.

"Who's the little _twerp_?" A man with slicked back sliver hair questioned.

Itachi ignored the comment and scoped out the room for an empty seat.

Two options.

_One:_ A seat next to Pein.

_Two:_ A seat next to Orochimaru.

He was still for a moment, debating the choices with utter care. He truly had no desire to be at this meeting at all, but he knew he had no other choice. So the question was, who did he want to spend the time in this meeting sitting next to?

It only took a second, and then he was headed over to the empty seat next to the snake like man. Pein smirked as if knowing why he chose that spot.

On the other hand, Orochimaru seemed pleased that he was choosing to sit next to him. But it wasn't like Itachi cared.

He could only hope that no one would try to ingage in conversation with him-

"So, Itachi-san." Orochimaru whispered with a wicked grin splayed across his mouth.

Well, _**damn**_ his luck.

He tried to act intent on what Pein was speaking about, as the conference had already begun. "_What_?" He questioned, annoyed.

"What happened to your wrist?" He purred, touching the bandaging.

Itachi pulled his arm away. "It's broken."

"Yes, but _how_?"

The seat next to Pein was looking more and more appealing every second.

"I **_fell_**." He lied, not bothering to care when the sarcasm leaked out of his voice.

Orochimaru was quiet then, hopefully noticing that he had no desire to strike up conversation with him, or do anything with him for that matter.

Pein's ridiculous speech droned on, and he was somewhat relieved that the rest of the organisation looked just as bored as he was.

He was about to zone away into his own thoughts when the annoying hissing sound of Orochimaru's whisper filled his ears once more.

"So, how about a battle sometime? That Sharingan of yours is _quite_ intriguing to me. I would love to study it or maybe-"

Itachi nodded and waved him away with a flick of his hand, as if he would go somewhere. "Sure, whatever, maybe." _God, just **shut up**._

The snake man chuckled and crossed his arms. "I'll hold you to it, Itachi-san."

Itachi stared intently at a small blackboard in the front of the room, trying to forget the fact that every other second Orochimaru would look at him, a wide grin on his mouth.

He knew that he would have to keep an eye on him now. He trusted no one, but this Orochimaru character was looking more and more suspicious by the day.

The sound of a chair squeaking made his ears tweak and his head turn in the direction of the noise. The same man; the one with the silver, slick hair and a sadistic smile was walking towards him.

"_Hidan_. What are you doing?" Pein asked in a stern tone.

Itachi continued to look straight ahead as the man circled the table until he was at his side. He tensed when he felt him lean down towards his face.

"What's your name, _punk_?" He smirked as he whispered the words. Some people chuckled quietly, obviously enjoying the show.

Itachi grit his teeth and didn't turn to meet the other's eyes. He knew if he did, he would loose it.

"You **_don't_** want to fuck with me." He growled.

The room errupted in laughter, and that's when he looked up to see the faces of the people who were mocking him.

They burned into his brain, and he never forgot.

The man named Hidan was laughing the hardest, but seemed to calm himself as he leaned in closer. Itachi could feel his breath on his cheek.

"Well, what if I told you I _wanted_ to fuck with you? What would you say then, _newbie_?"

This time he did turn and allowed his eyes to connected with the other's for a brief moment, flashing daggars with his Sharingan.

"Then I suppose I'd have to tell you to go fuck _yourself_, stupid bitch." He seethed.

He saw the hit as soon as was needed to block it and then he reeled back punching Hidan in the gut and sending him sprawling.

Everyone rose from their chairs, looking to Pein helplessly for an answer as Itachi let loose and continued to punch the stupid fucker that had dared to mess with him.

Hidan let out a weak screech and tried, but failed, to block any one of Itachi's attacks.

The second Itachi pulled out a kunai, arms were around him; it was a unbreakable hold.

"Get the**_ fuck_** off of me!" He screamed, turning to see the person holding him back.

A familiar blue face filled his vision and his mouth almost dropped. Kisame thought he could overpower him?

"Let**_ go _**of me Kisame." He whispered menacingly.

Kisame's eyes widened and he was just about to say something when he gasped. Itachi gasped too, as he felt the strange sensation spread through his stomach.

He looked down and saw Hidan stabbing him with the same kunai that he had taken out to battle with. He watched, almost amused, as that fresh crimson poured from the wound. Kisame did not looked amused.

"**_HIDAN_**!" The scream came from Pein, and as soon as everyone noticed the Leader in distress, they went into action.

Someone was quickly at Itachi's side, dabbing at the wound. He couldn't really see anymore; the sudden blood loss had made his mind blur. But he could still fell the strong arms wrapped around him, pulling backwards.

"Tourniquet! Get a _tourniquet_!" He heard Kisame yell to someone on the other side of the room.

Itachi's eyes fluttered and he could still see Hidan trying to get to him, but someone was holding him down as well. Itachi had already stopped struggling when their eyes met. He smirked.

"Hidan, you dirty _bastard_," He said smiling. "Do you know what the Tsukuyomi is?"

With a scream, Hidan broke free of the members holding him back and rushed Itachi only to stop seconds before they collided.

"**_Do you enjoy pain_**?" Itachi asked in a voice that was none above a whisper.

Hidan squinted his eyes and looked around, the scene had changed for both of them. Red skies flew past them and time had no set; gravity was no longer in control here.

"_Tsukuyomi_." Itachi repeated.

Hidan gasped and let out a penetrating scream as his face slowly began to peel away from the bone. He sunk to the ground and watched in horror as all of his skin ripped away from his body.

Blood poured from his body and he tried to find out how to stop the flow. Itachi only smirked.

And started the process all over again.

**_ITACHI!_**

The voice broke through the jutsu and Itachi released it, his eyes searching around to see that the whole room was staring at him with terror in their expressions.

_All except one._

Orochimaru's face was glowing with joy, and his eyes held a misterious gleam to them. He smiled at Itachi. "_Fascinating_." He murmured.

Itachi hadn't noticed that the snake had entered his genjutsu, nor did he care. But for some reason he did care about the shark man who had called his name; he was the reason the jutsu was broken.

"Stop..." He heard Kisame rasp. "Don't do that..._stop_..." The water nin's tiny orbs were wide with fear.

Itachi turned his head away from the man that still held him bound and glanced down at the now convulsing Akatsuki member.

"My face! My**_ face_**!" He shrieked as he clawed his cheeks, his eyes completely white and absorbed with the jutsu. It was still playing clear in his simple mind.

It was as if laughing released all of the other emotions Itachi wished to show, without having to really show them. So by the time he was being dragged down the hallway, he was laughing histerically, unable to resist once he saw the sick satisfaction splayed across Pein's features.

Every single member watched as Kisame took him away, his head thrown back as the laughter continued to bubble up in his throat and burst out like it was the most normal thing in the world.

And it seemed in seconds there was a door slam, and he was in his dark secluded room once again. Kisame stood petrified at the front of his sanctuary as he tried to stop the snickers that emerged from that screwed up part of his mind.

"Did you see the look on his _face_?" Itachi asked, clasping a hand across his mouth to keep the laughs away.

Kisame nodded slowly. "I did."

Itachi knew that Kisame had no idea he was talking about the look on Pein's face and not Hidan's, but decided to not mention it.

"You've scarred him Itachi-san." He whispered. "You_ can't _keep doing that."

Itachi scowled and shrugged off his cloak. Tentavely, he removed his back net shirt to reveal the large stab wound made by the kunai.

"**_What's it to you_**?" He shot back, touching the wound carefully; blood slowly squeezed out of the gash as he did. He watched as it dripped down his abdomen, wondering if he left it alone, would it kill him?

Suddenly Kisame was bent down next to him, wrapping the wound carefully with a tight bandage. Itachi wanted to protest, but did not; he watched the shark nin with some suspicion.

It took Kisame only a few minutes before the wound was covered and healing. Itachi narrowed his eyes but knew he should thank him.

"You didn't have to do that." He snapped. Well, _that_ came out wrong.

Kisame sat there, staring up at him. "We're partners, Itachi-san."

Itachi grit his teeth. "Not we're not."

Kisame jumped up and grabbed onto his shoulder, pushing him into a sitting position on his bed. "You need to rest." He ordered.

Itachi scoffed. "Since when did_ you_ start ordering_ me_ around?"

Kisame's lip curled. "_Why_ are you this way?"

Itachi couldn't help but laugh. "Look who you're asking this question! **_I killed my whole family_**!" His chuckles filled the room.

The water ninja continued to lock eyes with him. He was silent.

"_What_?" Itachi asked, wondering what was going on through his head.

"Why did you _really_ do it, Itachi-san?" He whispered.

The question cut him deep. "I **_had_** too." He said before he could stop it.

In seconds Kisame was sitting next to him, his hand gently resting on his shoulder. "Do you...want to tell me _why_?"

Itachi's eyes widened and he snapped his head around to look at his partner. Was that pity he saw in those tiny orbs?

"Stop looking at me like that." He hissed.

Kisame removed his hand but Itachi could still see the pity in his gaze.

"**_STOP IT_**!" He yelled, his voice cracking. He burried his hands in his hair and pulled, wishing the pain would wash everything away. Pain could do so much. Pain had done so much.

He had used pain to ruin everything.

In seconds their were hands on him, shaking him violently. His mind cleared and his eyes shot open; he could feel tears pouring down his face without remorse or any since of rebellion. He was sobbing.

"What the fuck happened to you?!" Kisame said in a low voice between clenched teeth. His eyes looked watery.

Before Itachi could speak, though he had no idea if he would have spoken or not, Kisame grabbed him, ignoring his wound and pulling him down and into his lap, his strong arms tightening around him protectively.

Itachi let out a wail and let everything out, everything he had always let out when he was alone, glad that there was a body here, someone warm who could make him feel safe, even though he had no right to feel safety and comfort.

He grabbed onto the front part of Kisame's shirt and pushed his face deep into the man's chest wondering why it felt like home, why it felt like he was hugging his mother.

Why he felt..._normal._

"My _god_..." Kisame murmured as Itachi shook. "You're only _thirteen_..."

It sounded as if Kisame was trying to conveince himself.

For Itachi, it felt like for just one second his life was back had everything that had once happened was all a nightmare, and that if he could just hold on tighter and open his eyes when it was just the right time, he would wake up and walk down the hall to greet Sasuke and his parents for breakfast.

The village would love his clan.

His clan would not be a distructive force that should be stopped.

He would not be a double spy.

He would be _normal_.

**_He would be lying._**

"I _swear_ to god," He was able to croak out. "I swear to _god_, if you tell _anyone_-"

The blue haired man cut him off. "I _promise_. I won't tell anyone. Sssh..."

And for the first time, he trusted Kisame. Just by the sound in his voice he knew that Kisame would keep his secrets. He knew that Kisame would listen.

And he presumed that he would also care.

Itachi needed someone to care for him.

_So he spilt everything._

Every detail of that night. Every detail of his mission and his true feelings and his sadness. He told Kisame about how every single fucking day he wanted to take a kunai to his wrists and end the suffering. He told him how he wanted to go to hell and stay there. How he wanted to burn and watch as the flesh peeled away slowly, much like he did to Hidan. He told him why he could not show his emotions, and how much he hated himself right now for revealing them.

He told him how it would **_never_** happen again.

And how he would make Sasuke an amazing ninja; how he would watch over and take care of him no matter what.

_And then he told Kisame how he would die._

And Kisame listened to it all without saying a word.

**_And then the shark nin began to cry himself._**

**---**

**A/N: Sorry for the wait but hey, at least this chapter is longer right??! :) _Review The Lost Soul!!!! PWEASE!!!! I NEED FEEDBACK!!!!_**


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